Imposter!!
The phrase imposter syndrome is thrown around in many circles but especially related to career and the world of work. The premise involves someone who feels unworthy and less than. In the mind of someone experiencing imposterism, there is a strong sense of feeling fake. A person may seek improvement plans and wait for “the shoe to drop.” High achieving people tend to fall into the category too. Left unchecked and unsupported, the voice of the imposter drowns out the potential of growth and development. Although imposter syndrome is not a mental health diagnosis, there are struggles. Walking in the shoes of an imposter, a person may wrestle with anxiety and depression as well. For a clearer picture, let’s review five different imposter types and ways to quiet the imposter voice.
Five Types
*Perfectionist-By definition, anything less than a gold standard is stamped as a failure. Someone sitting in the perfectionist camp may focus on a minor mistake made with a work project, even if no one else notices.
*Expert-The expert pushes themselves to learn a great deal in a short span of time. There is a deep-seated fear of not achieving enough, and to them others are excelling while they are failing. Phrases come up such as, “when will I arrive?”
*Natural Genius-Since success has come easier for the natural genius, there is a tendency to believe accomplishments happen due to intellect or talent. When competitive environments prove otherwise, the natural genius feels defeated and succumbs to low self-esteem. They forget to factor in hard work, practice, and opportunity.
*Soloist-The soloist pushes themselves into doing everything alone, without asking for help. Internal dialogue may sound like, “I am weak, if I ask for support.”
*Super Person-Someone with a super person mentality tends to do everything. They step up to the plate of life with a list of chores, school, work, projects, etc., which inevitably run them off the grid and past normal hours. Their motto tends to be, “how can I please people in my life?”
Calming the Imposter
*Practice Self-Compassion-There is imperfection to being a human being. Rather than fight the “get it right” stance, just notice what is coming up in the moment. Then, allow yourself to accept what is happening, with gentleness and kindness.
*Notice the Inner Critic-The inner critique may be old, programmed messages from different spaces and places in your life. When does the inner critique show up? Since the critique tears one away from being authentic to self and others, start with, “what messages need to be changed?”
*Reach Out-Every person needs to be seen and supported! You are not alone or invisible! When someone moves into doing life in isolation, there is an emptiness and an “I don’t matter” mindset. Step onto the pathway of connection, and reach out to family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, church, and/or a therapist. Community is a significant step to move towards improved mental health and well-being.
*Incorporate Psychological Flexibility-As long as the idea fits within a person’s beliefs and values, psychological flexibility means a person may think one way about a situation but challenge themself to act differently, in order to move towards healthier ways of coping. Psychological flexibility allows you to focus on the long-term consequences and goals rather than short-lived urges.
*Adopt a Growth Mindset-Those with a growth focus lean into seeing one’s potential as improving over time and the lifespan. Rather than seeing a situation as a setback, growth mindset says, “these obstacles do not define me. There is more development and potential on the horizon.” On the opposite end of growth is a fixed mindset, which holds the view of one’s potential as final-no change.
There is so much power in showing up for yourself! Every person counts, so lean into being understanding and warm to yourself; challenge the belittling, unproductive voices; advocate for self; step into the community you need; throw out a mindset no longer serving you; and see the on-going potential you possess. There is no person like you! You are uniquely gifted and talented, and there is much more to come! For more resources or support, let a KYW therapist help: Know Your Worth Counseling and Wellness.
Imposter Journal Questions
What imposter area(s) do you struggle with?
How often does imposterism show up in my life?
Where needs to be dealt with first, in order to move away from the imposter voice?
Who is the lifeline you need to begin with, in order to move forward and towards a life of connection and support?
Imposter Resource
Imposter No More: Overcome Self-Doubt and Imposterism to Cultivate a Successful Career, Jill Stoddard PhD
Own Your Greatness: Overcome Imposter Syndrome, Beat Self-Doubt, and Succeed in Life, Dr. Lisa Orbé-Austin and Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin
